I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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