It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
