Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
