My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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