Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
