you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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