it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
