anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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