well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
