To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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