Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Hippo gnu deer
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
