you turned your livingroom into a bong?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
