So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
This gyro tastes like lonliness
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
