I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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