Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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