I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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