omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
