So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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