He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
