just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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