i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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