So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
