He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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