Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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