I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
