My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
