if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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