she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
don't judge my taste in strippers
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
