He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
dude. I can hear the air.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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