just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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