i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
my being single is dangerous.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Randomize
