therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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