So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
