Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
