I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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