i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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