would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
