Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize