At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
