I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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