Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
is that a dick in a sweater?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
