Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
The Olympian is in my bed
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
