You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
