i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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