It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
