this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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