This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
it hurts more in the daytime
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
We left the knife in your bed.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Randomize
