just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
