Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
