Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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