Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
