I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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