I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
