She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
