you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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