Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
My vagina just recognized that song.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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