what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
