And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
