I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
cat food counts as protein by the way
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
is it fun? or sober?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
