community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
