i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
someone get that fucking seahorse.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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