You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
