My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
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