honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
